MBA’s love beer.

MBA’s love beer pong.

Now MBA’s can love beer pong ANYWHERE.

What was once a class project (seriously) has turned into a mega-empire (I am using this term very loosely). 

I now present you: http://beerponganywhere.com/

TL;DR - the beer pong table fucking floats, and you don’t have to blow it up like that other one.

The other day I took a test. Normal right?

However, as I was leaving said test something weird happened; something that will probably never ever happen again: everyone started clapping for me (well, most people I think - I’m not sure, I was walking out the door).

It was a one hour test. I finished in 14-15 minutes. Not because I knew all the answers, although that’s happened before, but because I left half the test blank. 

Now normally I would draw on said blank test, but this professor explicitly told us not to bullshit him, because he “hates bullshit.” 

Word.

I can respect that.

To sum up:

• I looked over the test
• Twice
• Answered what I could
• Got up
• Turned it in
• Professor, with a look of incredulousness, “You’re done?!”
• I replied, “You told me not to bullshit.”
• Walked out
• Everyone started clapping

Now that’s a good test.

Oh man - 

If there’s one core MBA class that’s saved me time and time again, it’s Statistics. That thing shows up everywhere. 

SO PAY ATTENTION.

The other day my professor called me into his office and gave me a mini-lecture about how I shouldn’t use the word “shit” in papers I turned in. He’s about a year and a half too late. For some context, I was explaining why the Philips Curve doesn’t work when “shit hits the fan” - see U.K. economy circa early 90’s. Best part about this? My giant, shot-putting, asshole friend Spill was standing outside the office laughing at me.

Jerk. 

EDIT: Also, I’ve been told I can be slightly negative sometimes. Moving forward I will balance my negative creativity with positive creativity - or something like that.

WYSBWGYM for short - cause we all love acronyms. My favorite is WACC by the way.

Sorry for the many moons of non-writing. I’ve been putting in work on my own startup. Life happens.

Here’s some unsolicited advice for all you continuing and contemplating MBA’ers out there. 

Start a blog and share it with people.

Why?

Well, for one you actually practice your writing skills sans buzz words. Just because you can throw out words you don’t understand - like synergy, risk mitigation, and value proposition - doesn’t mean you actually know how to write. In fact, I sometimes wonder how some people graduated high school. Also, if you do suck at writing, people will tell you that you suck, and when you get asked “what is your biggest weakness” you can say “I used to suck at writing/blogging, but now I am awesome at it. I went from 10 unique visitors a month to a brazilian by being the first to leak the Hulk Hogan sex tape.” If you told me that, I’d hire you.

More importantly, you can make obscure references to things that you like and quickly single out which of your classmates has the same interest. For example, if I talk about the time Snarl and Swoop were created to combat the original DinoBots, I’m pretty sure I can figure out who really appreciates the original Transformers - because I can’t stand the chupacabra shit that Michael Bay puts out. For a more wordly example, do you remember when Urkel helped Stephanie adjust to her new glasses? Yeah, me neither…

MOST IMPORTANTLY: 

Other students from other schools may happen to find your blog. And from this, you end up going to Vegas (during March Madness nonetheless) at the same time as them, which means your Vegas trip is now a drunken networking trip. A boondoggle if you may (why don’t they teach that word in school?). Everyone loves boondoggles. There is no hyperbole in the world that I can use to explain to you how awesome this is (unless that in itself was hyperbolic enough).  

Completely unrelated sidenote:
I have to write about leadership for a class of mine.. and well… here’s my paper proposal:

of wanting to drop out

tis all

Note: if you’ve never read about the invention of Santa Claus - it’s actually pretty interesting

Keeping it negative since 1983.

It’s the end of year. Almost. Finally. Something like that. And while some of you will soon be starting to think or already have started thinking of your resolutions, I believe I have come up with mine. 

2012 is the year of no limits (make em say uhhhh - nahnah nahnah]. 

So what’s that mean?

It means that…

When I am tired, I can be more tired.
When I am burnt out, I can be more burnt out.
When I need to not dick around on the internet… I will find the discipline to not dick around on the internet. 

It means that I  will finally start trying; that I will acknowledge and embrace my own power, and in doing so maybe… just maybe, I can over achieve for once in my life.

I owe that much to myself. 

[Don’t worry I’ll still say funny and mean shit]

Let’s see what happens.

I stretched my arms towards the sky like blades of tall grass
The sun beat between my shoulders like carnival drums
I sat still in the hopes that it would help my wings grow

So then I could really be fly… 

As a dog owner, and person who walks on the sidewalk, it annoys me to no end when I see other dog owners not pick up after their dog.  It’s not that fucking hard; flaccid even. Put a bag on your hand, bend over, and pick that shit up. Literally. 

The more frustrating part about this is I’m sure if you ask the inconsiderate person why they didn’t pick up after their dog they’ll give you stupid excuse after stupid excuse.

You own a dog.  If you can’t do the simple act of picking up dog shit, don’t fucking own one. Simple.

This same theory applies to life/business. If you can’t handle the work, don’t fucking sign up. Simple. 

I can’t wait til someone asks me to write a book to further elaborate on this theory. It will be fucking great. I think I’ll name it Cross the Dog Shit Filled Chasm to Find Innovative Solutions for your Epiphany: Bad to Ok.